“Any mature, spiritually sensitive view of marriage must be built on the foundation of mature love rather than romanticism. But this immediately casts us into a countercultural pursuit.”
― Gary L. Thomas
Why Millennials have it right by waiting for Marriage? It takes seven to ten years for the masculine and feminine to become whole and complete as individuals if they’re both educating themselves, doing their inner work, seriously committed to making a relationship work. It doesn’t make sense to invest in marriage until both the feminine and masculine are serious about building a life together and clearly see who they are marrying.
What are they working out in themselves? They’re deep house cleaning. They’re emotional patterns, thinking patterns, communication, and behavior patterns.
Non-violence is Imperative
1. How to communicate in a non-violent way towards the opposite sex and not wound their partner emotionally, mentally, spiritually, physically, and sexually.
2. How to co-create the life they desire to experience in life instead of allowing their emotions, thoughts, feelings, and five senses to dictate where their relationship is going.
3. Both partners are committed to making the relationship work. They naturally have to learn to move together in the same direction to reach their goals. Team work is necessary to win in life, in love, health, and finances.
4. Both of them must do their inner work and understand the relationship will never manifest the same way as other relationships.
5. Ideal belief systems are broken down. The Ideal dream never exists. Ideal partner and picture of perfection doesn’t exit.
6. Expectations of what is supposed to happen, what should happen, how it could happen, ought to happen are dropped. Life unfolds differently for everyone.
7. Both the masculine and feminine learn to break down the illusions of theories and beliefs. They learn to navigate through what is truth, fiction, and fantasy based on what they imagine, believe, and project on to one another.
8. Every culture has different belief systems, theories, and different rules, structures, belief systems, and the feminine and masculine may be playing by two different set of rules and misunderstood.
Both cultures can have negative and positive qualities, truths, and illusions.
9. The psychology of listening is imperative. No one knows everything. Two people can be right at the same time from different angles and perspectives. It’s looking at the different angles and seeing how they apply to the situation.
10. Men and Women are both teachers and leaders in the relationship. Both bring valuable wisdom, knowledge, and key points to help the relationship grow and evolve. Relationships are about balance, team work, and mutual respect.
If one wants to be respected they must give respect in return through their body language, facial expressions, communication styles.
11. Both deserve to stand in their full power as the masculine and feminine. When they stand in their authentic truth, honest, open, and trust is built, there are less domestic disputes and violence.
12. What the feminine and masculine do behind the scenes is key in whether they’re being honest, truthful, and trust worthy to themselves and one another. This is the most important ingredient.
I learned this myself a few years back. If you aren’t disciplined emotionally, mentally, spiritually, physically, sexually, every time a man and woman comes around and you have the urge to merge, this may be a natural instinct, but it’s short-term gains, short-term pleasure, and is survival of the fittest.
What people fail to ignore is when they make bad relationship choices it also has a cause and effect on their finances, their shelter, their clothing, their luxuries in life, their food, their children’s safety and basic needs.
Millennials need to think more about it’s not just about, “Me”. It’s about, “We”, the whole group, a man, woman, and child. Children need a safe environment to grow up emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and physically. They need both a mother and father.
If you don’t want the issues of court fees, legal fees, child-support, single parenting, than it’s important for Millennials to make the right choices.
13. Families aren’t created equal. If the world is projecting a belief system which aims for a target audience, one size doesn’t fit all. Everyone doesn’t come from certain types of families. There is diversity and culture within family dynamics.
14. One of the biggest hurdles in life, accept change is part of the game.
I’ve heard men and women all my life make statements, ” I can do whatever the hell I want to do.” “Stop trying to change me.”
The natural order of evolution in life is automatic change. While men and women can both resist change, fight it, struggle with it, even end a relationship, the change still will have to be met at some stage of the game.
One can not escape change, evolution, and growth.
One can avoid it, delay it, resist it, and prolong making the changes, but still life will force them to take action and make changes within themselves.
This is part of growing up, maturing, and taking personal responsibility in being co-creators in relationships and humanity as the feminine and masculine.
15. Both the masculine and feminine have to let go of the illusion, “If I trade in for a new model, everything will be better.”
This doesn’t change the fact you still will be faced with the same lessons in dealing with yourself, and the opposite sex.
Men and women will both ask, “Why am I in the same place?” A different face, different name, different time, and different place, doesn’t break your addictions, emotional patterns, thinking patterns, and behavior patterns.
If you do things the same way, you get the same results.
16. Both the Masculine and Feminine must learn to stop abandoning and rejecting themselves, their children, and one another. Culture conditions both the Masculine and Feminine to wound one another and bail out of the relationships and even their children.
17. Both must find self-worth, self-respect, self-dignity, self-love to set personal boundaries with other women and men who are manipulative, seductive, jealous, and choose to deliberately cross boundaries in relationships.
It’s not about what other women and men want. They’re not part of the family unit, marriage, or the mother and father. They’re not interested in nurturing the wife, husband, or children. They’re not interested in whether the wife, husband, and children succeed in life emotionally, mentally, spiritually, physically, or sexually.
While there are many theories out there and beliefs on this topic, they’re all subjective. And rarely do you ever here children spoke of in the equation.
If you do hear anything, it’s usually, “No, I shouldn’t have to establish a relationship with the children.” This teaches children they’re abandoned, rejected, and not worthy of love and respect. “It’s not my kid. Not my responsibility.”
Foster Children are never brought up. Domestic Violence is never brought up. Child Abuse and neglect is never brought up. Jealousy of step parents and potential partners abusing children is never brought up. The main population is not aware of all the many women, men, children, who are killed, abused, and harmed every day because individuals in general are self-absorbed, thinking about themselves, and not educating themselves to be problem solvers, trouble shoot in relationships, and think about the cause and effect of their choices.
18. Women and Men both end up court ordered to enter parenting classes, rehab programs, and other family system programs to educate the masculine and feminine. I stated above, life will force both the masculine and feminine to change and take personal responsibility for their choices and actions.