Growing up on the shores of Western Michigan, I attended a lot of hockey games. Through the years, I observed some of the greatest hockey players be slammed against the boards, slide across the ice, be high checked, wiped out, move through the obstacles, maneuver in and out of their opponents, jump over their defense, and shoot for the goal.
Millennials have a tough task maneuvering through the obstacles of life, with peers, co-workers, romantic partners, and family members. Millennials are trying to figure out the game of life. All of us live in a world of survival, only the survival of the fittest survive emotionally, mentally, spiritually, physically, and sexually.
Millennials are very competitive, brilliant minds, co-vert, and tend to be all deep emotion, deep feeling, deep thoughts, deep compassion, deep passion. The anxiety is intense. The depression can get overwhelming, and it’s easy to get entangled in the drama and trauma.
Life can be very comparable to a hockey game. Life isn’t always fair. Everyone starts at a different place in life. For many years, the Millennial may find themselves caught up in conditioned emotional and behavior patterns passed down from previous generations and fail to succeed.
The first thing the Millennials needs to recognize the difference between their emotions and feelings and someone else’s. The more they focus on the negatives of life, the more they feel anxious, stressful, and depression.
Modernized Dating for the Millennials requires them to be mentally and emotionally tough. Millennials may think revenge, pay backs, and harming one another is the answer to solve their emotional, mental, spiritual, physical, sexual boundaries.
First Millennials must recognize they’re not any different than a hockey player. They’re slamming one another into the side boards, tripping, high sticking, wounding one another emotionally, mentally, spiritually, physically, and sexually.
The only Referee who will show up is themselves.
Are four natural emotions everyone feels when they’ve been deceived, betrayed and hurt by someone they given their faith, trust, hope, and love. In the ideal world Millennials would love a guarantee when they invest their time, energy, and heart into a relationship they will get the same thing in return.
Often the Millennial learns they don’t live in an ideal world, unfair world, and when the truth is exposed, they’re left in shock, numb, cold, and bitter.
The first thoughts that come to mind is seek revenge, payback time, and seek out justice by slamming another Millennial into side boards, get in fist fights, argue, gossip, and curse. What else is there to do. This is how they’ve been conditioned by Hollywood, art, music, literature, their family, peers, and co-workers.
Everyone dislikes being deceived, betrayed, manipulated, yet, they must understand they’re mirroring one another in their emotions, thoughts, feelings, and actions.
When a Millennial chooses to be violent with their emotions, thoughts, and feeling towards themselves and other individuals this creates more drama and trauma by interacting in this situation.
Millennials can become obsessive with the emotional wound, hang on to the trauma, and seek revenge. This can be explosive towards themselves with the inner negative critic.
Millennials can war with themselves inward through their inner dialogue versus war with other individuals with outer dialogue.
Millennials reap what they sew. The natural process is to seek revenge and pay back for the emotional, mental, spiritual, sexual, or physical abuse. It’s emotionally and mentally painful. They cycle will continue until one of the Millennials backs away and chooses not to participate any longer and move on their way.
The more the Millennial reacts out of their wounded emotional pain, the more severe the pain will become.
The more emotionally and mentally drained they will feel if they continue to battle with their opponent in their thoughts inward. Where the Millennials focus goes, their attention will go.
While it may be difficult, it’s imperative for the Millennials to detach themselves from the situation and give up the fight. Give up the inner struggle. Give up the argument with the other individual and surrender all control. The truth is none of us can control another individual period. There are times when it doesn’t matter what you say, what you do, some individuals choose not to do the right thing, play fair, be honest, and choose an unethical life.
This can be quite painful for the Millennial to believe, but it’s the truth. There are some individuals who have ethics, morals, values, and who will do everything in their power to be a wonderful person, and there are others who are literally to emotionally and mentally damaged to do something different.
It’s important for the Millennial to know it’s not worth the fight. It brings them down to the same level. The more the Millennial battles with themselves in their mind, or with the other person, they only prolong the agony, the emotional and mental pain. It’s quite simple. Let go! Move on! And find those who celebrate the Millennial, love them, and inspire them to be happier, whole, and complete. Giving any kind of attention to another individual who doesn’t respect emotional, mental, spiritual, physical, and sexual boundaries isn’t worth their time and energy.
There is no winner in the hockey game of dating. The war will continue until someone stops participating. When the pain is great enough, they will withdraw and step away.
This is the natural process of life, but will continue in every relationship the Millennial has until they learn to regulate their thoughts, emotions, and feelings and stay in control. The real personal power is not allowing other individuals to manipulate their thoughts, emotions, feelings, and five senses.
When the Millennial decides to take their focus off another individual, and pay attention to their own thoughts, emotions, and feelings, then they might get somewhere in life.
It doesn’t matter what the opponent is doing. It doesn’t matter how hot they’re physical appearance, what they say, what they do, taking things at face value, doesn’t always match up with they’re actions, motives, agenda, and what they do behind the scenes.
Time gives the best answer. Time exposes the truth. Through Time you can determine whether someone is worthy of your attention, energy, and show whether they’re someone the Millennial can trust.
Slow down and never be in a hurry with relationships. Take your time. Get to know who they are. The ins and the outs of the person. Get to know who they’re friends are, their family, their co-workers, the people who influence them.
Hockey players practice every day, know thyself, keep their mind strong, their focus in the right direction, and not allow other individuals to manipulate their thoughts, emotions, and feelings. They practice 8 hours a day sometimes for the game of life.
Pay attention to every relationship you interact with every day. What works and doesn’t work with communication styles and interaction with the other individual? What do you notice works and doesn’t work? Why do you believe it’s not working? How do you react and respond? What type of personality do they have? Is there a pattern? How long did it take you to warm up to them? How long did it take you to establish trust and rapport?
Life is all about distraction. The audience consists of strangers, parents, peers, professors, teachers, romantic partners, and co-workers. It doesn’t matter where the Millennial stands, they must learn to set personal boundaries in a positive way to succeed in relationships and finances.
When your opponent can hijack your thoughts, emotions, and feelings, you still have work to do. The more time you spend disciplining yourself, the less opportunity other individuals have in sabotaging your life, and less opportunity you must have to sabotage yourself.
Know Thyself. The more you know yourself, how your nervous system works, your biology, your psychology, your emotions, the easier it is for you to navigate in the world.
Educating yourself, liberates you from other individual’s ignorance, prejudice, bigotry, discrimination, ridicule, and false judgment.
What is the opponent doing? They’re manipulating your five senses through sight, sound, touch, smell, and taste. They’re manipulating your thoughts and emotions by the words they use, the images they use, the lyrics they use, the fictional stories they use, and clothes they wear. They’re manipulating you through education and knowledge. The more you don’t know, they have the upper hand.
Keep yourself sharp.
Actions speak louder than words.
Frosting on the cake, says nothing. Watch actions. Do they follow through with what they say? Behind the scenes says it all. If they’re lying to themselves and you, they can’t be honest and truthful to you.
I remember someone once telling me, “You can’t trust me, because I don’t trust myself.” This is the paradox of life. When you can trust yourself, you can trust your choices, your judgments, and those you surround your life with on long-term basis.
Short-term relationships, short-term pleasures, short-term rewards, and short-term gratification rarely pays off in the bigger picture. Here today and gone tomorrow. Everything worth holding on to is a relationship which goes the extra mile.
Millennials can hurt themselves by digging into the other individual’s business and crossing their emotional, mental, physical, sexual boundaries. If you don’t like the emotional and mental pain, then mind your own business. Everyone deserves privacy. Don’t check their devices, social media, or what they’re doing. Give them the freedom to live their life.
Trust they’ll do the right thing. If they don’t do the right thing, still trust they can learn to do the right thing. It’s all about self-mastery. Self-discipline and they must do it themselves. If they can’t do it themselves, they’ll keep falling until they do it right. This doesn’t have anything to do with you. It’s their personal battle with themselves.
It’s not about you anyway. It’s about what they’re learning about themselves. It’s what they’re learning from the experience. And there is no point putting yourself through unnecessary emotional and mental pain. Trust they’ll do the right thing. The more you try to control the situation, the more you struggle emotionally and mentally within yourself. Go do something fun, exciting, and have a good time. Never make someone else’s addictions and alcoholism your problem.
Sure, you can love them, support them, encourage them, but they’re making a choice to participate and they’re the only ones who can find the courage to stop harming themselves and other people.
It’s noble of you to believe you can change them, fix them, or save them, but you can’t. You’re wasting your time and energy battling with an addict or alcoholic. The battle is within themselves and the war isn’t over until they learn self-worth, self-respect, self-dignity.
If you don’t like being high checked, slammed against the boards, emotionally punched, mentally manipulated, step out of the game. The same answer to the equation is for you. Self-worth, self-respect, and self-dignity. It takes courage and self-discipline to choose healthier ways to fight. Fight with honor and dignity. The last resort should be fighting. Choose your battles wisely. Know why you’re fighting? Is it worth the fight? The ego thinks fighting is supreme. The soul gives up the fight and surrenders all control. Love is the answer every time. Life is simple. It’s the ego that decides life must be complex, chaotic, and dramatic.