Self-Discipline and Short-term Pain

never fade (9)

“Self-discipline is often disguised as short-term pain, which often leads to long-term gains. The mistake many of us make is the need and want for short-term gains (immediate gratification), which often leads to long-term pain.”

― Charles F. Glassman

Self-discipline is key in succeeding in life. Various times Introverted Millennials may be faced in life with having to get out of their comfort zone. Immediate gratification is giving into short-term gains, short-term pleasures, and short-term rewards. It may be exciting and fun for the moment. 

By human nature we all enjoy pleasure, having a good time, and feeling good about ourselves. It’s natural for us to avoid pain. It’s the first thing we do is avoid conflict, back down, and submit as Introverts. This leaves Introverted Millennials feeling not so good about themselves.

In everyone’s early twenties until the early thirties, it’s easy to get lost in the popularity contest, following the latest trends, buying into the latest fashion statements, but bottom line, real life is never based on short-term gains and short-term pleasures.

The world is very competitive. Whether Introverted or Extroverted, you will be challenged to face your greatest fears. Fear is the number one tactic, and the second chaos and confusion in any type of interaction. I remember at the same age as the Millennials, I wanted to save the world. I thought I knew it all, eager to join the world, and make a difference. I also wanted purpose in my job.

In the real world, the number one enemy is self. The enemy is never out there. I would buck at anyone trying to share information, wanted to do it my way, and was like a wild horse, running in the wilderness, thinking I was invincible. At this point in time, I see Millennials making the same mistakes I once made myself.

I once believed life would magically unfold the way I envisioned it. As an INFJ, life hit hard. By not being self-disciplined in my emotions, thoughts, feelings everything came collapsing down time to time. The biggest mistake was leaving my life in other people’s hands. You can allow other individuals to lead the way, or lead your own life.

Too many short-term mistakes lead you into to some serious problems if you don’t pay attention to what kind of choices you make, who you surround your life with, and who you choose to listen too.

 All of us bounce on the earth, argue, fight, debate, and get stuck in our egos at times. It doesn’t matter what generation, we all have the same lessons to learn as individuals. We’re all learning from one another.

INFJ is the natural revolutionist, the natural rebel. With age, maturity, and the experiences of life, I’ve learned when it’s appropriate to move and when not to move. What I can change and what I can’t change. When someone wants to help themselves, and when someone doesn’t want to help themselves.

Fortunately, at a young age I had a lot to learn about how the world worked. I didn’t know anything in my twenties, I didn’t know anything in my thirties, and even now in my forties, I still don’t know anything. The more you learn in life, the more you realize there is still too much to learn. I’m a life-long learner, and I understand short-term education isn’t enough to survive in this world. The world is constantly moving forward, changes at a fast pace, and if you’re not keeping up with the times, you’ll fall backwards and left behind.

Listen to everything, everyone, take notes, observe, and you’ll have the wisdom with you for the rest of your life. If you are unteachable, you never learn anything. If you’re closed minded, you’re limited in your thinking.

One of the important lessons is to respect other individuals, not jump to conclusions, not attack other individuals, make it personal about yourself, and understand it’s important sometimes just to be quiet, observe, listen, and soak in the information.

Other times share and express your point of view. It doesn’t make your correct, doesn’t mean it’s the best solution for everyone. It may be right or wrong. It really doesn’t matter if you are right. It doesn’t matter if you win or lose. If you feel you need to win, this is your ego talking. Thank it, and tell it to move on. The false-self  isn’t your authentic self  the soul. Usually when one’s ego gets out of control, life usually has a way of humbling you.

The war is inside, not the other individual. It’s the same for another individual.

Like my professors taught me, you must have a large tool box with many solutions, resources, and tools. The world is filled with diversity. What works for one person may not work for another individual.

I’m always a student, even when I’m a teacher. This is correct. I always begin as the student no matter where I’m at in life. I listen to everyone. 

Whenever someone argues with you, basically they’re iron sharpening iron, teaching you something about your thoughts, emotions, and feelings. Are you setting personal boundaries on the emotional, mental, spiritual, or physical? If you’re being a doormat, upset all the time, crying, and in a lot of emotional and mental pain, you’re not setting boundaries.

Millennials will never get anywhere in life by being stubborn, closed minded, and insisting they do things their way. Respect must be given in return of receiving respect. You get what you give.

Attitude is everything. If you have the wrong attitude doors close and you miss opportunities. If you have the right attitude doors open and a wealth of knowledge and wisdom is delivered.

It’s about everyone on the planet taking responsibility for the part they play.

Whenever a Millennial is triggered, becomes angry, frustrated, they really need to stop for a moment and question where that feeling is coming from?

Where is the root of the issue? What’s being triggered? Are you attacking someone because they’re bringing up a memory of the past? Who was the person? What didn’t you like about them? What was the event? Recognize why the issue is surfacing, and what needs to be healed in one’s self.

Short-term gains, short-term fixes, short-term pleasures in life show you aren’t self-disciplined. The only way to self-discipline yourself, is by creating a positive habit every day with thoughts, emotions, and feelings aim in the right direction.

The world will tell you anything, but what do you believe? I’m sure you’ve heard it all? It’s simple to worry about what the world is doing? What are you doing? I’ve found in life paying attention to my own actions, thoughts, emotions, focus, and attentions is quite a job itself. It’s easier to get entangled in power struggles with other individuals. No one really ever wins. Some will keep going on and on and never let it go. This is a sign your warring with yourself more than the other individual. 

I think the worst habit I learned in life was being co-dependent, paying attention to what everyone else needed to fix in themselves. It never gave me time to pay attention to what I was doing and creating in my relationships, actions, and choices. It’s great to point fingers, blame, tear up other individuals, but it’s more of a challenge to pay attention to what you are doing.

I used to be concerned about what everyone else needed and what they were doing? What everyone else is doing is not my responsibility. How I navigate my own life is pivotal in my survival and success in life. I’m responsible for the choices I make and the cause and effect it has on my life and others in my personal life.

I’ll help anyone that comes along, but at the same time, I’ve learned you can enable another individual. I’ve learned some people will not learn until they’re ready to learn. You can never force someone to learn. And sometimes you’re unaware of how much education and knowledge they have, not know they well enough, and project a false picture of them. First impressions can always steer you wrong. 

There are a lot of times I sacrifice my time, pleasure, and fun into order educate myself, go through the natural process of becoming an authentic leader. You don’t become one overnight, without taking the appropriate steps, doing the homework, applying it to your own life first, and then if it works share it with other individuals. When I help other individuals I’m sacrificing my time with family members and friends. I do it to help other individuals.

We’re leaders of our families, communities, social groups. What you stand for shows?

I’ve never learned much from my short-term choices. They were my down fall. Long-term gains ended up paying off the most. Taking the time separate from other individuals, and allow them the freedom to learn on their own, protect themselves, encourage them to reach their full potential.

The greatest individuals in my life have challenged me in every way possible, tested me, gone up to bat with me. Iron sharpens Iron. Through that entire process, I had to earn their trust, their respect, my place among them.

If you believe you can be in this world and not earn your place in life, it’s not exactly that simple. In every job, every family, every school, every area of your life, your character, personality, and strength will be challenged. We’re all in the same process of growth and evolution. Fortunately, any profession you will have to earn their trust, respect, and place in the field. There is no short-cuts.

Short-cuts seem to be the easy way out, and over time, these bad habits build up like garbage. Short-cuts are bad habits, I must go back and break, because they prevent me from succeeding.

Every thought, emotion, action, choice becomes a good or bad habit. That’s just human nature. When you build your foundation on immediate gratification and short-term pleasure, it seems to collapse like quick sand just as fast.

What kind of foundation are you building your life on? Is it quick sand, bricks, logs, or steel.

Do you have back bone to go the distance, or the first few yards of the game of life?

The real world will challenge you, tests your faith, your inner strength, your inner courage, pushes every fear inside of you that you can imagine.

Take the time to invest in yourself, build your life on substance. Build your life on integrity. Build your life with grace. Build your life in a non-violent way.

One of my favorite Professors taught me, “Before you can become an advocate for others, first you have to advocate for yourself.” This is the biggest challenge for you.

You’re the best advocate in the world for you. Stand up for yourself. Be self-reliant. Speak your voice. Conflict is a part of life. You can avoid it and delay your progress in life, or face your fears, stand up to other individuals, and roar like a lion.

I’ve gained more respect in life, by standing my ground, going up to bat against the best in the world. Step out of the fears one at a time. I’m an INFJ. If I can do it, so can any Introverted Millennial.

Sometimes it doesn’t feel that great having the short end of the stick. True love and True success takes inner strength to take back your personal power from those who would like to intimidate you, bully you, harass you. Short-term pain is better than long-term pain, by learning to self-discipline yourself.

Be bigger than other individuals who want to make you feel small, and belittle you. The hardest lesson is sticking it out for the long distance, going through the millions of emotions, thoughts, feelings, overcoming the obstacles, jumping through the hoops, being challenged by the bullies, and to be a true leader and authentic millennial it’s not following the crowd, fitting in, or being popular. It’s standing out from the crowd and making a difference. Doing everything that the other Millennials are not taking the time to do.

The best in the world are usually the ones who are in hardship, going through the challenges in life, because they become a champion doing problem solving on a daily basis. They learn hundreds of life lessons in the process, where others fail to see from this perspective. 

If you’re in hardship Millennials, know with time, your character will be stretched, you’ll have resiliency, beat adversity, and be able to go the extra mile where others aren’t ready to beat the challenges in front of them. Take the hits! Take the blows! It makes you stronger, faster, and better at your social skills, communication skills, presentation skills, relationship skills, and work skills the more adversity you face.

It teaches you to be a problem solver, find the solutions, instead of being frozen in fear, stuck in one place, and not knowing what to do when problems come along. Be a master of yourself, instead of being mastered by other individuals. Set your personal boundaries and take your personal power back. Go the distance.


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